today i had another revelation - about life i guess- being happy
Category: Life
when things don't go your way there never that way for long it just feels like it will be while all of the negative is slowly depleting.
what i want to know is why does it always feel like a test for me to see if i keep my calm and cool to let everything fall into place - so your guessing after reading this that i may have had a negative scenario - and your thinking would be correct - i just figured out that i may not be able to go to my bro's wedding in sept. and my trip to Los Angeles was postponed to thanks giving then my mother calls me and starts venting about how she is stressing out - and i am now going to quote one of my favorite songs by jimmy eat world - "sometimes its my own advise i need" i told my mother - mom don't get stressed out because the power of having a positive attitude will go far - my grandfather attributed all to God - but a good amount of what he said was always have a positive attitude as much as possible - it will take everything around with you to the same place - contentment - thats the thing being stable - stability is what we crave and its what i strive towards - i told her that even when times are stressful that mai (my grandmother) has in some peoples eyes a hard life but to my brothers and sisters and even mai - she has a wonderful life and she is always telling me to be happy - for everything we do have - ha easier said than done but i am getting better - at it i think the secret to it all is forming the habit - some people don't realize especially those addicted to tobacco - first you form the habit then it forms you the same on both end of the spectrum, negative and positive - i started to work out more and look at the bright side - i have a lot less anxiety but - i still get stressed, and still it is a battle - but how else would it be a worthy earned prize to be completely calm and in control when some of your misfortunes occur - i know i am ranting on - but things always end up ok - for some reason i believe people or someone is truly praying for my family i don't how to explain it but it is quite amazing its funny ever since i became more faith filled or gained more conviction - i guess it came from my love for my family and my love for life- but none the less its there i feel more in tune with life i feel as if my family is not coincidently having luck but more or less certain situations just match to perfectly as if it is some threaded design i believe that the Greeks felt this strange notice phenomena it was more or less described as a golden woven tapestry of time that three witches eyeless they all shared an eye (Greek mythology) ... wait a sec this will be more descriptive-- let me just find a link - on wikipedia- love the internet :::::: "the fates" here is a picture - ****and no i don't believe in predestination-ism there is destiny versus fate - destiny you still have free will involved fate its determined - here is a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destiny ,
but anyway i notice that my parents have events along with me happen in order for other sequenced events to occur if i connect to the point it starts a new thread - so i am thankful to have had certain situation occur even though i had to go through some shit - even now it brings a chuckle to my face for my age i have had some stress that made me grow up quick - *always have more to learn* well all i meant to say is i see yet another complicated factor of life that is just to chaotic to be bounded down by a scientific explanation of time - its truly amazing i would have never met some of the people i did if i had not made one decision way deeper and further back in time than i could have fathomed - almost like a ton of small events but some major ones - especially a lady that i have recently met - she is wonderful - and of course my business partner and best friend - and many other people i that i glad to have been acquainted with - but there own threads of time - there strings (as i visualize in my head) had to run on a cross coarse as well almost as if fabricated based on small movements or infractions in time all involved with emotional influences and situations all molded shaped by some of the most unexpected people - its so thought provoking - and so beautifully complex - God - i wish to be an amazing artist in some way create in manner that is awe-stricken- not to other people but that shocks me and almost takes me into another world - maybe not art (painting,sculpting...etc.) specifically because i refer to many things as art or masterpieces - but anyway i am getting sick of typing - just wanted to have a mental exercise i wish i did it more regularly i think i will try
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