No care for mechanics of writing

so i met some interesting people today
you ever feel like your constantly meeting people at the wrong time--- I sit and wonder as my creative mind starts to open its drawing board.- I can truly see in the dark, through the darkness of my mind I see caverns forming. they appear in my the back of my mind and a giant pendulum is swinging so silently - all I can hear is that monstrous click which seems to drown out all bias thoughts and emotions. I don't know how I know but I do know that it is off beat by just a few seconds -- which really altars everybody by 2-3 years. It has skipped me a few beats a few years. It's a constant paradigm of what direction life could possibly branch off into, thinking so cautiously not to in any way hinder my appreciation for my current place in the threads of time. though - I will never know since I can't touch the Giant pendulum swinging back and forth at an unstoppable pace ever so silent. "Its too fragile just the slightest distortion of thought and it would vanish, but I do see it. I would stop and reset the pace "if I could" almost like a snooze button that does its job right rather than confirming the procrastinating nature of the imperfect human (hitting that button ten times). yet without true foresight that very snooze button could be the my true physical pendulum. a few minutes could be the difference of my life... if I am here today or here tomorrow.

i dont know just thinking and writing

well its that time again - feeling the need to write - i am sitting here in this room and feeling nostalgic - things change - huh so fast its as if you look back and the only thing that makes you realize how time has past is your memory. i think that it is necessary to remember - to remember pain happiness i think that passion is my greatest attributes - thinking feeling loving loosing - these things that only connect at the instances of conception in our mind the briefness of understanding the assumption that time is fast when in reality it is truly slow then what is the one thing we hold dear at times i feel this creeping anxiety of wondering contemplating about when i accomplish a goal what's left the next one its not enough - what is this life what is everything for no feeling not one thing has true value to me the only thing in my life that is constant is breathing and feeling - we are born to die - the min. we are born our life is ending - so we are always living for the end of everything even for you the reader the end of this story this written inscription of a far reach in the back of my mind - in these readings i am exposing a piece of my hidden mind these writings are the things that i don't ever tell people but wish they already knew about me - and the hardest thing is the fragileness about ones mind and heart its not truly fair that assumption is what describes the perception of any person we meet its as if God designed it this way so that when we meet someone the true inner self of that one person is worth so much - that we start to see the things that make up ones personality the stuff that takes time to know - i think where i mess up with people that i want to introduce myself to is i want to share everything but i understand that reserve-ness is the best way but i am too passionate i want to explode give everything show everything i wish to be the artist and paint the beauty that i see its everything to me then - at this moment i have realized that i am here for so many things yet they do not illustrate them to me i know what i would be happy with but i also know something is missing even a women is not enough i mean something so much more - i wish to live in my dreams to live in things that do not exist i do not care about money though it would be nice to have lots of but something more i thrive of invoking emotion in people i love the satisfaction of affecting one so well = i do not mean manipulation i mean - triggering and not anger though that is desired at certain times and it is wrong but for what i truly want is created realization epiphany in the deepest consciousness of peoples minds -

Okay so its time again I am in need of some good writing. Well what has been going on with me hmmmmm well first let me call out to all the people I miss fam and friends esp. those in nola. Now what just struck me – about life that is going on – things change so quick a soul glanced upon embarking on its choices that change thoughts and the truths that bold and binds souls to the flesh – defiant against that which stands for all that is wrong. To be Stern and True to your beliefs these are the things in reality that hold us all unique. To dream for what you yearn being a gift that most ignore. Love for life is passion which is obtained with only an open mind the belief that life goes on regardless if you make something of your self or not is a wasted thought we choose our choices that binds us to the conscious part of our body where our soul connects with our body – some say it's the heart others say it's the brain I believe its neither but our consciousness of our decisions and our ability to communicate with people to see things and think to cry, love, laugh, and be angry. They affect your life so much and even others around though its never always apparent – when I see people I see something else – I see there choices the choices they make in speech and actions. Choices in clothes, hair, style?

Not all are bad but all is expressive in nature describing an unspoken part of ones personality. I think and feel the past I whish to be part of another era. I would be a roman senator or a philosopher. And Egyptologist for the royal empire in England a duke or council elite in Eastern Europe I know I would be something of class and prestige of some sort. Not to be vain but because it is in my nature to enjoy simple pleasures as well as quality. Yearn for wisdom as well as philosophy maybe that is why I love art I love it because it is our ability to connect with something else. Why am I a philosopher – is it my inebriated influences in some condition whether it be exhaustion boredom drunkenness or other maybe I am sober and awake but feeling out my thoughts as I blindly type at the screen …. Okay I am drained going to sleep – Ga-nite yall

Remember to try new foods meet new people have a reserved but open mind you never know what you learn about your about your self. Good night and May God Bless you

Richie

Self and its component to life

The heart.

Well its 1:24am

I can’t sleep but I am dead tired – my body went through a little hell today and yesterday as well, for some extra cash and for a good work out I have been removing trees – my arms and legs look like I got in a fight with about 10 cats and lost. How such beautiful trees can be so mean? Anyway I think I am going to write about………………………………………..oh ok so
What is it in our world that makes us do the things we think we need or want to do?

Is it our lack of something or is it too much of another thing. It's always based on others thought as such in the most simplified example of our existences. Let us create an analogy to explain this.

First we have a line segment a simple line which alone is not much and is the basis of what we are all given. Through years of development in our genes and history of influences we choose a form or application for this line segment. At that given moment of creation from our mind to the physical it becomes either art or great applicator of the idea in its use one or the other – this also applies to us being.

The human existence is solely based on the existences of others. Our reasons interactions it's always for someone else whether they are even born yet or even if you have ever met that individual.

So this line segment now it has been manipulated by the individual and this person has made it with good intent. But it does not mean all are great but it does mean all is good because it come from creation which is in desire or intent for other eyes or other use. (*Always for others)

This curved line is now considered another component as well as other manipulated shapes such as the elbow and the right angle curves and bends these components give value to each other by each other(like people do or a spouse does) through the comparison of its original state, which makes it even possible to see the difference – you see with out others there could be no determination of value – like art a painting or a sculpture there could be no value of other art or forms of expression, yet all pieces of art are valued either by the creator or the individuals who choose to value the forms of manipulation. These individual lines and manipulated lines are more or less components of a much bigger object instead of this categorical form called art it is complex but noted as being or ontological, analogously as we are to the human race or also as a painting or sculpture is to the subject or liberal arts/arts so these lines and manipulated lines not only give value to each other as well as utilize each other for connections to form this large over all object with this be. This is in existence with everything such as human beings are – you take music as well – even to the physical elements as well as the alchemical elements – the instrument its self then the notes alone a note or a tone or even an instrument is not very strong but add more instruments or notes and you have either a band, symphony, or a musical masterpiece.

This can only show you that we as humans are connected as one body one living body an overall we are components or the living race yet none of us realize it because everyday we are stuck in the work a day world.

This WORK A DAY WORLD is the harm in our nature because we detach ourselves from what our true goal. "One could not argue that this action of separation from the work a day world would be a selfish act because the concept of this writing is for the individual to apply to the over all object * EVERYONE. The work a day world is the concept that there is not a disturbance. For the transition of your mind from the realms of the imaginable to the physical the realization of self and separation from self –

Have you ever worked and a week has gone by and you come to the realization that tomorrow is work again after your break has just ended so quickly. That desperation last until it's the middle of your work week and you realize its not so bad until your there again. Well that's the work a day world – over and over again that time is wasted. People dream about doing so many other things but are held down by chains that our society has provided for the person to be filled with distraction – bills, rent, a house, taxes, gas, ect. It’s amazing that all that stuff has no bearing on the conscious mind or heart it should! Existences in things – they are all applications of life but not life and before you know it your time has passed by as you sit and look back to say one thing – "well I have led a good life" and as the last sound of the last word in that phrase is where the contentment in your heart fades because of dying desires - until you hypnotically tell yourself again those same words and look for justifications for it being a good life. Many will argue with this and say well what about doctors or people who act or anyone who is doing what they love = well that is because they achieved separation of self and found God in there work (call it what you will). which only means great discipline – this is for you out there who have not awaken your deep sleep to be reborn with fire to wreck through the door and harshly hit this world with a passion that emits inspiration around your fellow man (*or line segments hahaha) because we are all components. You must understand that the separation of self can only be obtained by the sacrifice of your self – you must deny your self satisfaction. If you thirst then instead of satisfying your thirst with the temporary water teach you're self to control yourself. Thirst not for water because you need it thirst for the ability to obtain water! not the need for it – you must realize again that if you have conquered self then you can conquer anything – control of ourselves and our desire will set us free to accomplish all that we want in life.

------------ you can not be free until you have died and lived again

To die is to set your self free. Self is not the person but the consciousness that tells us what we think we need and want. In order to hear the self clearly you must weaken self through denial of satisfaction. With this you will accomplish everything with a determination and discipline others will admire and envy which will satisfy a Good Life which will satisfy God--------- Richard Myles Donahue III White = a person who is still trying to conquer self every day

Richard - What a mind - Not Richard as in me but as in the man below

i see now

Current mood: amused
Category: Life

I am one with the ability of many - a philosopher -I see things differently - all of this, one mesh of a world of mass/matter scattered and colliding with such infinite force. This is the world that we live in. - ocean after ocean of composition. Atom after atom of tiny particles making up all of us and everything as a whole- I am the same as you and you as me along with everything. I have receptors that groups mass/matter in its form to see things as how it stands in my reality in my life in my eyes – a question to ponder on = if I could truly see things in its real form detail - to the smallest micro compound - to the most insignificant fracture of its necessary existence; Then it would be one giant sea “a lattice” of atoms/particles flowing everywhere in its smooth fluidity from the wakes of other fluid motion matter- and there would be no sense of what is and what is not in this exciting vibrant wonder of a life… So then with that kind of understanding what do we call a real sense of reality - when in fact we are made up of the same system in all area's atoms > protons, neutrons, and electrons - the only difference between our composition and the rest is the grouping of specific atoms for receptors that organize the mass/matter ( color shapes sent smell texture temp.) we interact with it - our sight our smell our touch our “MIND” and sense of awareness – it is to these things that separates our occupied space. – Scientists have stated time and time again that we are creatures of stimuli environment – false we create the stimuli. we are just taught to react and live from the stimuli around us that we notice, but we all forget it is our composition that makes it possible to define a mass/matter of what we see/hear ect... life is so wonderful in all of its complexities, God was truly in artist – the Creator whom we are much like in our complex imminent veracity.


so then what is this all mean - not sure! i just had an epiphany = hmmmmmmmm

SO WHAT I WROTE WAS A GOODBYE MY LAPTOP WAS ALMOST DEAD BUT I WANTED TO WRITE A BLOG BEFORE THE LAPTOP SHUT OFF AND B4 I PASSED OUT AND WENT 2 sleep

my last good bye Lol - count down 5 min - another Art piece
Current mood: exhausted

this is a cool perspective
The battery on the laptop has 5 min of life left - worked all night
i keep slipping in and out of consciousness it's so hard to focus -- family is forever - i would say my old latin prayer AVE MARIA, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

now that its happening. i would have done a few things different - i would sacrifice my small insecurity for what i love - and i would have hugged my mom for so long and tell her to not ever be sad or stressed cause i love you mom - my sisters your the best and most beautiful young women i will ever meet i am proud of you all i love u Michaela your a beautiful talented angel with so much life - hug my brothers and tell them i am proud to be there brother and i love them - hug my dad tell him i was so thankful he was my dad and i love and respect him and call my father and tell him that it was great that i got to see where i came from and inherited 3 parents- i would call all of my grandparents tell them i love them, - pai and mai - my other (really Grandparents) mom and dad - i love you pai - i am me because of you - i am everything i feel because of you your my grandfather who made me have a sense of pride and made me want to be a gentlemen and mai - i love you = you showed me compassion and kindness i miss you i always wished you were my godmother - but Brandon needed a defender like you to all - remember to love, i would have worn the shirt i wanted to wear - i would have had a driven 6 hours to go eat a Nola Roast beef po boy fully dressed with mayo and swiss - from bears - i would have kissed her - knowing it be my last time - life so beautiful full of emotion i love my family so much , i had a good life i am not afraid, but filled with the uncertainty of sadness - my place in the world being an empty void for so many things - just taken for granted- always forgive and love your family and friendss - be filled with pride only in catholic and family tradition and in your heritage - good bye my loving family i journey to my creator- to all of you live your life in peace -

MY GRANDFATHER HAS PASSED AWAY THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO HIM LOVE YOU GRANDFATHER REST IN PEACE

Bruce Hugh Miller White Jr.

passed away on Wednesday June 13th 2007
he was the eldest son of Bruce and Mary Baxter White.
He was born in Bath Maine - March 15 1925
he attended freiberg preparatory Academy and graduated from
and graduated from Bowdoin College in 1951. his long and distinguished military career included serving in W.W. II as a bombardier and master navigator in the European Theater, the Korean Conflict, and Vietnam as a combat aviator. He was also a Atlas Missile Commander during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Bruce retired from the Air force after 27 years of service and moved his whole family to Boise - where he embark on a 17 year career as a school teacher - Garfield Elementary - he loved to teach and was innovative with his methods. he love to bring aviation and sea navigational maps to class and teach children the history of being a world class adventure. Always the Entrepreneur he turned his passion for salmon fishing into a successful summer business when he opened White's Trophy Salmon Fishing Lodge on Malcolm Island in Canada. Bruce was a lifelong sportsman who had a tremendous competitive spirit. As a world class skier he placed 4th in the FIS (Federation of International Skiing) competition in Kitzbuhel, Austria in 1946, and won a prestigious Falstaff Cup as a member of the American team for Walker Air Force 1965. In his Later Years he was a familiar Pro on Bogus Basin, Idaho. He love to sail and was the Southern Idaho Sailing Association San Juan 21' Champion three years in a row and placed 4th in the San Juan Nationals in 1976. he regularly played squash, racket ball, and tennis even at 82 in the last months of his life. Bruce was a founding member of his morning coffee group which got together to talk about Politics, Stock, and Military Campaigns.

He is survived by his wife of 54 years Marjorie D White, three Children Bruce H M White III, Dennis E White, and Caroline White McQuade and grandpa has 12 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren. Grandpa your a great man a true American hero and you will always be remembered - I miss you and love you God rest your soul