so i met some interesting people today
you ever feel like your constantly meeting people at the wrong time--- I sit and wonder as my creative mind starts to open its drawing board.- I can truly see in the dark, through the darkness of my mind I see caverns forming. they appear in my the back of my mind and a giant pendulum is swinging so silently - all I can hear is that monstrous click which seems to drown out all bias thoughts and emotions. I don't know how I know but I do know that it is off beat by just a few seconds -- which really altars everybody by 2-3 years. It has skipped me a few beats a few years. It's a constant paradigm of what direction life could possibly branch off into, thinking so cautiously not to in any way hinder my appreciation for my current place in the threads of time. though - I will never know since I can't touch the Giant pendulum swinging back and forth at an unstoppable pace ever so silent. "Its too fragile just the slightest distortion of thought and it would vanish, but I do see it. I would stop and reset the pace "if I could" almost like a snooze button that does its job right rather than confirming the procrastinating nature of the imperfect human (hitting that button ten times). yet without true foresight that very snooze button could be the my true physical pendulum. a few minutes could be the difference of my life... if I am here today or here tomorrow.
Monday, August 4, 2008
i dont know just thinking and writing
well its that time again - feeling the need to write - i am sitting here in this room and feeling nostalgic - things change - huh so fast its as if you look back and the only thing that makes you realize how time has past is your memory. i think that it is necessary to remember - to remember pain happiness i think that passion is my greatest attributes - thinking feeling loving loosing - these things that only connect at the instances of conception in our mind the briefness of understanding the assumption that time is fast when in reality it is truly slow then what is the one thing we hold dear at times i feel this creeping anxiety of wondering contemplating about when i accomplish a goal what's left the next one its not enough - what is this life what is everything for no feeling not one thing has true value to me the only thing in my life that is constant is breathing and feeling - we are born to die - the min. we are born our life is ending - so we are always living for the end of everything even for you the reader the end of this story this written inscription of a far reach in the back of my mind - in these readings i am exposing a piece of my hidden mind these writings are the things that i don't ever tell people but wish they already knew about me - and the hardest thing is the fragileness about ones mind and heart its not truly fair that assumption is what describes the perception of any person we meet its as if God designed it this way so that when we meet someone the true inner self of that one person is worth so much - that we start to see the things that make up ones personality the stuff that takes time to know - i think where i mess up with people that i want to introduce myself to is i want to share everything but i understand that reserve-ness is the best way but i am too passionate i want to explode give everything show everything i wish to be the artist and paint the beauty that i see its everything to me then - at this moment i have realized that i am here for so many things yet they do not illustrate them to me i know what i would be happy with but i also know something is missing even a women is not enough i mean something so much more - i wish to live in my dreams to live in things that do not exist i do not care about money though it would be nice to have lots of but something more i thrive of invoking emotion in people i love the satisfaction of affecting one so well = i do not mean manipulation i mean - triggering and not anger though that is desired at certain times and it is wrong but for what i truly want is created realization epiphany in the deepest consciousness of peoples minds -
Okay so its time again I am in need of some good writing. Well what has been going on with me hmmmmm well first let me call out to all the people I miss fam and friends esp. those in nola. Now what just struck me – about life that is going on – things change so quick a soul glanced upon embarking on its choices that change thoughts and the truths that bold and binds souls to the flesh – defiant against that which stands for all that is wrong. To be Stern and True to your beliefs these are the things in reality that hold us all unique. To dream for what you yearn being a gift that most ignore. Love for life is passion which is obtained with only an open mind the belief that life goes on regardless if you make something of your self or not is a wasted thought we choose our choices that binds us to the conscious part of our body where our soul connects with our body – some say it's the heart others say it's the brain I believe its neither but our consciousness of our decisions and our ability to communicate with people to see things and think to cry, love, laugh, and be angry. They affect your life so much and even others around though its never always apparent – when I see people I see something else – I see there choices the choices they make in speech and actions. Choices in clothes, hair, style?
Not all are bad but all is expressive in nature describing an unspoken part of ones personality. I think and feel the past I whish to be part of another era. I would be a roman senator or a philosopher. And Egyptologist for the royal empire in
Remember to try new foods meet new people have a reserved but open mind you never know what you learn about your about your self. Good night and May God Bless you
Richie
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